Cold And Broken Halleluja

You puzzle me ; You , Whose mind I can turn (on?) every angle, Caress every corner , And still meet a dead end. Forever shall I turn your mind ...

My ceiling has a pattern in it , Or so it seems to me , Like fury * of a teddy bear Or a tune in a melody . Sleepless ...

I was hesitant to read it, since the topic itself is a bit overdone. However, I felt this piece was very lovely. ;) My only suggestions would be: When all ...

I like this idea about the "plague" - It sounds quite interesting. ;) Anyway, on to the review... Adorned in my signature blue mini-skirt and flowered green tank top, I ...

I have to say I really enjoyed this. :) It painted a nice picture, and I love some of the phrases like "the way oxygen whispers" and "dispelling stars". The ...

The poem had a nice feeling to it, and I could pretty much see what you wanted to get at. I loved the line about the 'true saint'. It painted ...

I really liked how at the beginning, it seems she is running for the sake of running and then at the end of the second paragraph we realize she is ...

For some odd reason I get the feeling you wrote this while doing dishes... :lol: Beautifully written with great comparisons. You really do have a talent here. You're silver plated, ...

Here I am! (About to attempt to put my poor little thougths into words) Good Luck. ^.^ I know you say you love me, You tell me I'm your everything. ...

You've taken aircraft and science fiction, my two favorite things, and made them into a story. Major kudos there, my friend. Let me break down some small parts that could ...

Kudos to your impressive vocabulary. ;) I loved this part: The sun sets. And the light transcends your dark beauty. Dancing brings your hair to writhe in the midst of ...

My advice would be to break it up a bit more. It's hard to read all stretched out like prose. I liked the phrase: 'find a voice of light'. I ...

Line three seems to just... throw it off a little, yes? It's a bit shorter than the others. I think you should make the poem as a whole a bit ...

This was well written. Always listen to the urge. It gets to write it, and then us random people on YWS can help you edit it to it's greatest potential. ...

I highly recomend you read these books if you haven't already. The beginning of the first is a little confusing, but it quickly gets interesting. Just hang in there! I ...